Losing My Religion

Well, people what can I say?  I am going to provide you with a little bit more honesty that I know some people may crucify me for.  But, oh well!  You know I don’t mine going to church at all and actually I enjoy it.  I don’t get the opportunity to attend on Sundays because I work, so I try to make Bible Study.  I am not always successful in my attempt to make it because somtime things come up and the other part I am just plain out lazy sometimes.

I attended church when I was younger but I can’t really say I was brought up in the church like most people I know.  I wasn’t going church hoping, hanging with church members after church (those extremely long pow wows), going to service constantly and attending all of the other church activities or functions that you can think of.  Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against anybody who does.  I know Tee was brought up in church and her family basically lived there and would spend the night sometimes.  Heck, I always joke but they prayed until they saw Jesus Christ in the flesh.  They were serious!

Well, people that is just not me.  I don’t mine going like I mentioned but I don’t want to do morning service… then afternoon service…then revival next three days…then pastor’s anniversary…then youth services…etc.  Maybe that is wrong and if so just pray for me but that is how I feel though.  Heck, sometimes these things are all in one week!  I heard the pastor say that church is the best place to be (I agree BUT) and kids need to be there because they can stay out of trouble. 

Now I want to spend time with my kids and it’s just us and not the whole congregation and I am in one room and they are in another.  Sometimes I just do not want to go to church that much.  I do not want it to consume my entire schedule for the week.  I just pick and choose what I want to attend.  Once again, maybe that is wrong but that is what I do.  It’s like this, for example, I want to put my children in soccer but it is on Wednesdays’ evenings  but that conflict with Bible Study.  The games are on the same days they practice and this would be a great time for me because I would be able to see them play in the game and attend all the practices.  Well, I said I would put them into basketball again but the games and practices are on Saturdays, plus I would have to get my people (family) to take them.  My whole purpose of their extracircurilator is for them to have something of their own.  My first thought is to put Bible Study to the back and I don’t think I am wrong for that or alternate days between Bible Study and soccer. 

Now, I am not saying church is unimportant.  NO, that is not it at all but I just don’t want to be there all the time.  I know I have to be an example to my children and I know they are watching, so I try to be aware of my behavior or attitude.  One day I didn’t go to Bible Study and I was just flat out being defiant and was upset that particular day.  I asked my son why he didn’t go to church and he said he wanted to be with me.  I thought to myself like I got to change this because I don’t want him to not want to go.  I had to force this boy to go to our church’s conference.  Please believe me people I am trying to send the right message BUT with that said I still don’t want to be in there all day or most of the week.

Church is important by all means.  Some blessing can only be received by going to church.  The Lord want us to fellowship with each other.  What’s that verse?  When one or more gather in my name I shall be there…etc.  Yeah, I know that is not the verse correctly but you  know the scripture.   That’s doesn’t mean that I am not taking any time out of my life to be with the Lord or pray.  This is not a justification by any means but we focus on the physical building itself and not the church that lies within us.

This is to switch gears some, so walk with me for a little while because I am going to wrap it up.  You know I personally don’t get off into denominations like that.  I am not saying if you do then something is wrong with you.  It just never been my focus.  I grew up Baptist for the most part of my life, I am not a current member of a  Baptist’s church but that don’t mean that I think their theological teaching are wrong either.  I go where I am lead to go.  Some of us keep the same denomination because that is the way we were raised and not so much that we believe in it or truly submerged into the Word and have a spiritual understanding of that denomination.  Now, I can’t speak too much but honestly I am ignorant to most of the Word.  See finding God or whoever you believe in is up to you and not mama, papa or your spouse.  So many times some of us stay at the same church we grew up in because it is like the sitcom “Cheers”.  Okay, not a bar but it is a place that everybody knows your name and it has a familiarity that we can go against the grain at certain times and we really don’t have accountabilityfor our action so much.  At times, we may feel as if we own or have some stake in the church because our grandfather/grandmother or great, great grandparents paved the way and our lineage runs so deep that we are personally invested in the church that it is apart of our inhertiance.  Yeah, it varies so I am not generalizing but we just have to make sure it is a place we are suppose to be verses a place (church) we were raised in and a denomination that we have inherit through meiosis.

Is that you God? It’s Me Will

You know most of my blog titles are pulled from songs, book titles, hip hop lyrics…etc.  I just draw from whatever inspires me and today’s blog title is no different.  I remember my sister (can’t remember which one it was) reading a book when I was younger title, “Is that you God?  It’s me Marget” and I can’t figure out why that particular title stuck with me.  Who knows?  Heck, I never was into reading too much when I was younger.  Actually, it was my oldest sister who is six years my senior.  She use to read Judy Bloom books all the time.

Just be patience with me because I am going some where with this blog title.  I am going to try to keep this short and simple as possible.  I just blog my feelings and every now and then I get introspective but I like simplicity though. 

You know we all go through different trials and tribulations in our lives and sometimes it is because we are being disobedient.  Everything we go through is not always the devil.  In my eyes, God rewards and also punishes.  I am not going to go through the Word with you (I really should) but there are example in the Bible when God was not please with man and punished him for misbehaving.  It’s funny some of the people you meet in life and the knowledge or the Word that they share with you stays with forever.  I can remember talking to a young lady and should told me, “Just because you live in the world don’t mean you have to be off the world”.   In essence, what she was saying that I don’t have to adapt to what going on in the world.  Sometimes it seems like the people during wrong are succeeding that don’t mean you have to participate in wrong doing.  Then talking to a strange several years later he said, “I never seen God for sake a righteous man”.  Well, something like that but you get my point.  Sometimes we are focus on the wrong things and we over look our blessings that we have and just consider it to be natural that everybody has a mother that was their for them, that everybody has healthy kids, that everybody has a loving wife, that everybody has had something to eat…etc.  The list goes on.   Well, that is really not the purpose of this blog but I just wanted to state some things and get my blog atmosphere flowing.

You should consult God in every aspect of your life.  That is from a big to a little decisions but I will admit that I am guilty of this because I don’t always consult HIM.  I just pick and chose.  You know I can remember talking to my boy David on a situation.  I will never forgot that he said he pray that God’s will will be done.  This is the same pray that my sister told me years before that she prays for.  David said because if you are not with HIS will then you are against HIM.  That was a pretty profound statement to me.  Like WOW!!!

Of course, I shared with him my thought on this particular topic/life experience he was going through with honesty.  You know sometimes HIS will is not ours and we have to accept that.  HE knows what best for us then we do.  I got to admit that I don’t want to go against God’s will but I am like that little kid and want to do what I want to do.  I am sure we all speak to God (whoever you pray to) at one times or another and expect an answer.  You should but the question is, will you listen?

I know God honors the desire of our hearts and want us to be the lenders and not the borrows.  I know this but in the process to receiving the reward, would you listen?  Everything in life is a test and why should are journey be any different.  We don’t complain when we have to take a driver test.  That is the law that man has written, so we follow the procedures and if we pass we get a driver license (reward).  As you know God’s reward is beyond monetary value, so I won’t go there.  In order to receive a degree you have to endure classes and studying for a series of years.  These rewards are not just handed to you without sacrificing and fighting through it to accomplish a feat.  It’s just not that simple people.

I know everyone believes that they have hear God at some time in their lives.  He will talk to you if you listen.  I am not here to tell anyone that their conversation or voice that they heard wasn’t God because I don’t know what your relationship is with HIM.  Maybe it was God and maybe it wasn’t.  What I am trying to say is this, what God tells you may not be what you want to hear.  I know we are want riches or to be financially stable.  Who don’t?

Sometimes your plans, goals or visions are  not what God has in store for you.  Just maybe your blessing is in community involvement, being a teacher or an artist…etc. These are occupations or avenues that don’t pay much but you’re bless with self gratification because you are helping others.  I know we think of blessings most of the time as a dollar value but that is not always the case.  We think just because we do not have the latest than we are not being blessed abundantly.  Blessings come in many forms and we just overlook them sometimes. 

If you had plans on becoming a singer, actor, writer or whatever career choice that could lead to multimillion dollars and whole heartily felt it was your calling and then God tells you something different.  Would you listen?  If HE told you your path was not an occupation filled with wealth but HE wanted you to develop a grassroots organization to combat against urban violence, would you listen?  Maybe God’s plan is not for you to rich but for you to focus on other aspects of your life and the fruitation of your hard work will be in monetary value that your lineage will receive.  Maybe it’s you who has to sacrifice and break the generational curse but you’re being bless in the process because of your obedience.  You being bless to be able to provide for your family and minister and sow seeds into other people lives. 

You know I want to move out of the city I live in.  I know the Lord knows my desires but maybe HE just don’t see fit for me to do it.  That’s a hard pill for me to digest  because that’s just not my plans.  On the other hand maybe just not right now me moving will not materialize because HE is a God of perfect timing.  Maybe we hear what we want too and not what God called us to do.  Now, I don’t know what the Lord is telling anyone else because you have your own personal relationship with HIM.  What I am saying is just listen. 

God told Noah to build the Ark and around up two of every animal because there was a flood coming.  From my understanding and if I can remember nobody even knew what a flood really was at that time.  I am sure there could have been other things Noah wanted to do with his time and life.  Who knows?  What we do know is Noah built the Ark and did what God instructed him to do.  Not to my knowledge (somebody correct me if I am wrong) Noah never resisted and asked God why.  Can you imagine running around gathering animals and talking about a flood is coming?  I am sure people looked at him like a fool and thought he lost his mind.  Sometimes we are going to be given an assignment that most if not all people won’t understand.  The reason for that is because not everybody suppose to understand, not everybody suppose to travel on that journey with you, not everybody going to be supportive but if God said it than you do it.  In the end, HE got you covered if it is God talking to you.

I am not hear to say that I always have listen to what God told me and I know I have surfer for that.  I can remember one time thinking to myself but how will I be able to pay for that because I got a bills to pay.  I heard two pastors at two different times say when God speaks to you and tell you to do something it is not long drawn out conversation and everything is not revealed to you right away.  A stranger paid for my kids meal at a restaurant and he said God told him to do, so who was he to question God.  He said he didn’t know why and didn’t asked but just followed orders.  Little did he know that my sister really did not have the money to pay for my children’s food that day.

My question to you is; do you really want to hear God?  If his plans are different from yours, would you follow?

Fight the Power, W.W.J.D

You know MG and KG are in preschool and attend a private school that is Catholic.  I chose this school for many different reasons.  I already had a rapport with some of the teachers and principal since my nephew attend school there.  I always admired the progress that they have made in my nephew’s life and his education.  The teachers really do care and the principal is always hugging the kids and promote love.  I just feel that is great!

My children always make this statement, especially my son, “Jesus doesn’t like that.”  Honestly, they use it in the right context to and it is usaully because one of them doing something wrong to the other.  You know MG (my son) even says it to me when I scream at him.  That’s something I have to work on because it as if they do not respond to nothing esle but yelling at times.    One thing that I tell my children is when somebody hit you, you better hit them back.  That is just the rules to the game for the way we live at our house.

Now this can be a bit of a problem for many different reasons.  First, let me back track a little.  I am not telling them to bully anybody but to protect themselves and stick together.  With them being 4 and 3 years old their comprehension might get confuse but I am willing to deal with that later.  I was brought up with the same mentality but where I live it was apart of survive or you would become a victim.  It necessarily was not about winning the fight but standing up for yourself.  This world that we live in is really cruel and will eat you up and I can’t have a passive child of mines being swallowed whole by society.  So, I am teaching them to be assertive and it may not always come across to well at this age but I am laying the foundation.  If I was to teach my children to run than they will become prey for predators out there who hunt people with low-esteem and lack of confident.

Well back to the subject, my son tells me that Jesus doesn’t like that and he shouldn’t hit back but to tell the teacher.  I can see how this is confusing for him and why it is instructed for him to tell the appropriate authority.  I know some teachers that I grew up with so I know their approach and let be realitic about it, even the teacher get tired of a child saying he hit me or she hit me.  You know children can go through that all day and it can be annoying.  I try to explain to him that I know Jesus doesn’t like that BUT you have to do what daddy says because you can’t let anyone take advantage of you.  He goes on to say that he should tell the teacher so now the teacher logic or reasoning is superceding mines and it is a problem.  At this point, it is obvious that he got caught hitting somebody or somebody hitting him and he told them what I said.  I do not have a problem with them knowing.  I told him if the teachers have a problem with it than I will talk to them but they are instructed to hit back.  For me there is no grey area.  I am not sure if I got through to him because this never been an issues with him defending himself, maybe my daughter but not my son.  I really think he hears me but even at this age he is using this statement out of convinience. 

It is strange to me that you will get suspended or repremended for defending yourself.  I was watching this television show the other day and it was about prison inmates.  Two inmates got into a fist scuff  and exchange blows  and then the guards intervene to break up the fight.  Of course, the head guard gather both parties statement of what occurred.  Regardless, if you started it or not you was punished.  I just don’t get it because especially in this example, you are in prison and you expect me to take an a$$ whipping and not fight back when I got to live in here for some years and become a victim or somebody woman.  I THINK NOT!  That is prison life so that a different story within itself.  If my children have to get in trouble for fighting back then so be it.  Either they fight the kids or fight me, so they can take their pick!

“I never thought of losing, but now that it’s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That’s my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.” – Muhammad Ali (1942-)
statement after losing his first fight to Ken Norton, March 31, 1973

Fo’ the Love of $ Money $

To tithe or not to tithe, that is the question.  For the past 5 or 6 months I have been tithing on the regular and actually giving offering too.  I told myself I would get back into the grove of giving the Lord what is HIS.  You know I could say a lot of things and portrait like I am holier than thou but that is not me.  I love the Lord but I have my own challenges or struggles.  Like always I do not proclaim perfection people.

Back to the topic, I missed like two weeks in a row without tithing because I felt like I need the money and things was all jacked up financially.  I have bills out the wuzu and car problems like crazy so I opt to skip those weeks.  If I would have tithe then I would not have been able to pay some of those bills and get those things that were needed (at least I felt they were essential).  I believe we are convicted in our soul so for the most part we know if we are right or wrong.  Maybe not all the time but I do believe most.  [Side Note:  My professors would eat me alive for that passive voice or statement].  I truly felt bad because it was something I had been following through for a little while now.  Just being consistence and I had been reward in my life for that.  See one thing I know is that blessing comes in all types of forms and it is not always monetary.

I had this conversation with a friend of mines a while back.  We got on the subject of tithing and I asked dude what if you got a bill (rent for example) and it require your tithe money.  What would you do?  Would you pay the bill or pay your tithes?  Of course, his answer was my answer-I would pay the bill.  Maybe that is wrong but I would and I did.  Yes, I was convicted and had remorse because it did not feel right within my soul.  Maybe I am justifing things but I had to do what I had to do.  The problems to me comes when you don’t feel anythings for doing wrong.  Then you have totally overlooked the Lord and just plain out went against the grain. 

Now with that being say, I didn’t pay my tithes but I don’t want the Lord to overlook me when it comes to a blessing.  It is funny how some of us think.  That is truly a paradox statement.  What if the Lord just decide not to wake me up in the morning because HE just did not feel like it.  What if the Lord says, well no blessing for you these two weeks.  We can’t go to the bank and make a with drawn if we do not make a deposit.  You feel me?  I am so HAPPY man is not God.  I would be in some trouble and that is being serious.  Ever one always says, well God knows my heart.  Yes, HE does but it can’t always be use as an excuse.  What I mean by that is,  if you continue to get or allow yourself to be in the same financial situation and continue to say that line then something might be wrong.  Now in my opinion, if you are able to give then give and only you and God knows if it is sincere.  If you can only give a little and not the whole tenth, then do that.  God knows so you can’t fool HIM.  Everybody have a different situation or experiencing some type of financial calmity so I can’t pass judgement because I am not going through their storm.  So, I say this-when you are able financially (you will know when you are) to tithe then you should start.

My sister told me this, “You can’t afford to tithe, then you can’t afford not too.”  What a statement I thought.  A friend of mines said that it is all about the amount of faith you have.  You are suppose to walk by faith and not by sight.  I know this is true and please do not respond if you are not practicing.  I am just being real and let stop acting like we do not have problems or situations that we don’t act in the natural.  I know I am not the only one.  Yes, I can agree with that friend and I do believe that statement to be true.  Well, I know that statement to be true.  I am not always practicing everything that I know but I am trying to move forward.  There are so many examples that comes to mind when I think about that statement about faith.  That is a BIG word people especially to be only five letters.

God is going to get what is HIS.  God made the trees and money is made from trees,  so it all belongs to HIM.  I realize that you have to operate by faith and give because you will be rewarded.  What can I say, I am just a work in progress.

A Mighty Long Way

Yesterday I had the opportunity to reflex on another year and another age I turned.  It is strange because at one time I thought I was not going to live past twenty-three but the Lord saw different.  What seem even stranger that I did not get into a whole lot of trouble.  Indeed I was doing things that could have result in some extreme life alternating experiences.  I am talking about in general though because I was not as wild as some of the people I was around.  You know what, that’s my point, it don’t take a whole lot of trouble for your life to be changed in a split second.  Just in a blink of an eye your whole world could be turned upside down.

I don’t dwell on the past, so this blog is not about that at all.  Now I do have a problem because I complain a lot over life issues.  I am no where near where I wanted to be at this age.  Furthermore and honestly, I am not even close.  Don’t get me wrong I am not settling but I am grateful and thankful because the Lord have brought me a mighty long way.  Just like the some says…”A might long way, Lord you brought me a mighty long way.”  Around this time ten years ago exactly I did not even have a place to stay and was traveling up and down Interstate 70 in level 2 and 3 snow warning to get to and from The Ohio State University.  Just amazing!  That same year my birthday was on a Sunday.  Next week will be my partner who was killed birthday and that was the day that I heard the sermon I know was specifically for me.  This week will be the week that my mother told me to read some scriptures out of the Bible (Matthew 6:19-34).  Boy, I can’t explain how that smooth my spirit and touched my heart.  That was the same time period that I ruled out coincidences.  The Lord really spoke to my heart.  Speak to my heart!  I just can’t describe. 

What brought along this whole reflection of the past because I was trying to get into one of those moods of how I have not advanced in my life or career.  Then I had that revelation that made me reflect.  See, I am not where I want to be but I am not where I was yesterday.  The Lord didn’t have to do it at all and I could have easily given up.  If you only knew that I was calling on the Lord during that time and felt like my check was coming back void.  HE intervene at the perfect time.  See HIS perfect time was not mines because I wanted HIM to come right away when there was a hint of trouble.

You know it is funny because it is kinda like me watching MG and KG began to walk or experience one of life many perils.  I have watched MG and KG start to crawl and then walk.  It took MG a while before he started walking but KG got off to an early started.  The thing is that they are two different people and have to learn and grow as individuals without help in some cases.  Only person that can make them walk is them.  We can teach and instruct but the physical and effort has to from them.  Life has to go through it metamorphosis’s  stage.  I used to watch as they fall and stumble around the apartment.  Sometimes, Tee or my mother would want to intervene and I would say no.  I had to tell them a few times that they would be alright.  Let them get up and try it again and leave them along.  You can’t rush to every fall and then pick them up.  It wasn’t like I didn’t want to come to their aid but some of the times it was not that serious and also it is a process that they have to experience to walk.  I would be hindering their growth if I did that.  If God intervened every second on the second then we as human beings or people wouldn’t be walking.  We would all be stuck in that baby stage of crawling physically.  I say that because I think we can be stuck in that stage mentally and spiritually  also. 

My mom always used to say, “The Lord may not come when you call on HIM but when HE do come HE’S right on time.”  That always have stuck with me.  His time is not ours and I will admit that I struggle with that.  At the time I did not understand that the battle was not mines, it was the Lord.  I once heard somebody say that once you give somebody something then it is theirs.  You do not turn around and ask for it back.  It no longer belong to you and let them do what they want to with it even if you don’t understand what they are doing.  When we give our problems to the Lord then that means that we shouldn’t go back and try and touch it.  There is no reason to go back and revisit and take on that problem again.  Let the Lord do HIS will and do what HE sees fit with that problem.

I can’t say that my life is all glitter and gold right now but what I can say that I am not where I was yesterday.  That is enough to be thankful for.  I know the best is yet to come.

“HE may not come when you call on HIM but when HE do come HE’S right on time.”- Elizabeth G.

Keep Your Head to the SKY

What’s up people?  I truly can’t call it.  I have received more rejection letters from employers than the average heroin junky putting a needle in he/her arm.  So, lets just say it was a very large amount.  I tell you it can become dishearten at times because I know my capabilities and I am positive that I posses the KSA’s that are required for these jobs.  I got to be honest; I know the Lord is working on me.  I know I really need it and I just can’t figure out his whole message.

See people I know my struggle can’t be in vain because there is no way I could have survived some of the land mines that life set up for me.  Don’t get me wrong because some of my situations have been my fault too.  I remember my sister saying, “If God can bring you to it then he can bring you through it.”  Times can get rough people and sometimes I do not know how I keep going.  I tell you it just have to be the Lord who keeps on pushing me because sometimes I am ready to wave the white flag and yell, “I SURRENDER” at the top of my lungs.  Especially when it comes to these job situations.  Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful and grateful for the current employment that I have because not to long ago I was unemployed.  Thank you Jesus!  The Lord knew I needed a job. 

 

My thinking is this…the Lord has to be shutting doors on me for a reason and it has to be for my best interest.  I once heard a pastor say something similar to what I just stated.  He said you should sometimes thank the Lord for the doors that were shut on you.  I got to agree with that.  I can remember when Tee wanted to purchase this car.  It was a Dodge Intrepid with black interior, bronze/gold exterior and did not have that many miles on it.  At the time we did not have the money, so she was disappointed and I was just torn to pieces because I wanted her to have that car.  When you have a mate you want the best for them and to be able to give them at least a few of their desires.  Anyway, later on her sister purchased that same car and it gave her all types of problems and headaches.  Of course, I do not wish anyone any ill will or want them to experience heartaches.  My whole purpose of that example is Father knows best.  My mom always use to say, “Boy, the Lord works in mysterious ways.  HE may not come when you call on him but when HE come HE’S right on time.”   See, I am so happy Tee did not get that car because we could not have been able to afford to make the payments and repairs.  That car would have got reposed with the quickness…LOL.

 

Throughout my whole life I have experience rejection and didn’t have any foresight until I looked at that particular situation in retrospect.  I am going to provide a few examples throughout this blog.  I can remember that I wanted to go to graduate school but I wanted to attend The Ohio State University.  I owed OSU money for a loan so they would not release my transcripts.  Plus, my undergraduate grades from there were only a 2.4 gpa.  [Side note:  I recently ordered my transcripts and boy did I make some terrible grades.  I rarely studied because I had no aspiration on pursuing higher education.  I tell you what; I have paid for making those terrible grades because some employers have over looked me for that very reason.]  Well let me get back to the topic, I had to work in a factory to pay off my loan from OSU for they can release my transcripts.  I use to go to that place mad as HELL!  The whole time while I am working there I am thinking like, “Dude you have a bachelor degree and you working in a factory on the floor.”  Of course, those were the same questions I go asked from co-workers time to time.  Now, if I could have gotten a different job then I would have because I didn’t want to be there.  I had bills to pay and plus a mother to help out with her finances.  I worked their for a little over two years but during that time I would tell people that I am going to graduate school.  I kept having set backs and it appeared as if I was just blowing smoke.  I am sure people was like, yeah right, whatever.  Some circumstances were out of my control so a few times I had to postpone graduate school and it just seemed like things weren’t going to materialize.  Eventually, I paid off the loan and applied to Wright State’s graduate school with the intention of transferring to OSU.  I got accepted to Wright Stategraduate school under conditional status since I did not have 3.0 gpa which would have given me automatic admission.  I had to take twelve credit hours and maintain a 3.0 gpa or higher and I could not receive any financial aid.  This really dampen my spirits because I did not have the money at the time plus I was planning on quitting the factory.  I busted my tail and paid for those twelve credit hours and when I finished I earned an assistantship and a partial scholarship.  Plus, during that time I earned a “C” and was on the verge of not being accepted and I had quited the factory too.  Usually they don’t have assistantship until the fall quarter because students just graduated that past Spring, so since I made a “C” then me earning an assistantship wasn’t going to happen.  I told my mother that if it was meant to be then it will be.  Just so happen that winter quarter they had an assistantship for me.

 

My old purpose of this blog is not about my education or a car.  I really did not want to ever blog about my education personally.  Don’t’ get me wrong again, I am grateful that I was able to accomplish that feat that I set out to do but it is truly irrelevant to what I am talking about.  My purpose is this-sometimes the Lord places you where you need to be and not where you want to be.  It was a lesson I was learning at that factory and the people that I had to meet.  It gave me a perspective on how I will never treat my employees and provided me with the insight of how the dynamics were set up in a factory.  Sometimes the Lord process is a process that we do not understand and don’t need to understand.  I am not saying it is easy but we got to let him make it do what it do.  We just need to surrender to HIS will and have faith that HE is going to work it out.  HE knows what best for us more than we do.  If I had not come back to Dayton then I would not have met T and there would be no existence of MG & KG (my kids).  This is the same attitude I got to have with this employment situation.  The Lord got to know what’s best for me and probably trying to take me some direction that maybe I don’t want to go.  I don’t know.  It got to be a chess game and HE is about to allow me to have a CHECKMATE!    

“If you want to make God laugh at you, just tell HIM what you plan on doing with your life.”- J.B McCarthy

The Sweetest Name

This is a late blog that I meant to do last week but I am just now getting around to it.  Well let me tell you how my day began and at times I feel it just sums up my life in general.

I got a phone call from a temporary agency saying that they wanted me to interview later on that day.  It was short notice but I could not turn it down because we need all the money we can get.  Of course, I am like bet, I will be there.  My fiancee comes in and her car will not start.  I am like come on this is crazy.  We was fortunate because her sister’s job is on the way so she caught a ride with her.  First of all before I go any further let me tell you about my car.  I have a 98′ Sebring with all types of problems.  I have a hood that will barely shut, a front tire that is ready to burst at any time, I need brakes, a squeaking sound coming from the other front wheel as if it is going to fall off, a headlight that do not work and a possible disconnected cellphone.  You may asked why do I drive this car.  DUH! It is my only means of transportation right now so I have to do my Ray Charles and “Make it do what it do, Baby!”

I started gathering the children clothes together and was planning on giving them a bath over to my mother’s house.  I took a shower and put on my interview attire.  It was hot outside this day so I was sweating bullets.  Like always but I was prepared because I had a towel with me.  On my way to my mother’s house I was thinking about my Sunday excerise (jogging) I had completed.  Well let me change that, I walked a mile and jogged a mile.  Jogging a mile is a feat for me right now because I been out of shape.  I am working on it people.  I was just thinking as my children was screaming, “DAD DAD” at the top of their young lungs.  Like always, God pushed me through that jog and I felt as if I had my late grandmother who past last month was pushing me forward too.

Now I am back from thinking and at my mother’s house and dropping my children off.  Actually, at this moment I am making good time so I should have some time to find the place and will not be late.  I kiss my kids goodbye and I am off.  I interviewed and it went okay, I guess.  The Interviewers and I had contrast about believes and I had to be honest about mines.  This is a story I will have to tell another day.

After the interview I stop to get some gas with the only money I had to my name.  I had a twenty dollar bill and gas was $4.15/g which was crazy and had me complaining.  I go to the pump and I put my last bit of MONEY into my car.  I get into my vechile and go to start the engine I hear nothing.  I try again and again and nothing.  Now, I am at the pump and my car will not start and it is hot as heck!  I open my cellphone and hoping maybe I have not been disconnected yet.  BAM!  I am still on the air, so I call my mother’s house for my little brother can come.

While I am sitting there waiting which seems like forever.  All types of cars pull up the the pumps and no one asked me if I need assistance.  I tried starting it again but nothing.  While I am still trying to start my engine a young lady in business attire asked me if I needed a jump.  She was driving a new black Ford Taraus.  I told her no thank you but I had someone coming to get me.  It really was my pride too.  Then she said, “I can understand about car problems.  It is crazy and plus gas is high.  God is good though despite our hardships”.  I responded with yes HE is.

I continue to try to start my car but nothing.  I kept trying to call my little brother’s cellphone and then my mother’s house but I could not get through.  I tried numerous of times which seemed like a hundred.  I was worry about being in front of the gas station pump and the Attendant coming out and talking crazy.  Then I had an epiphany, that I have tried to call everybody to help but I have not called on the Lord.  Something say try HIM.  I said a pray for my car to start and called out Jesus’ name.  Next thing I know I turned the ignition and my car started right up.

I know I made a short story long but I wanted you to follow my day.  The purpose of the story is that God is always with us.  We are always calling on someone before we even seek the help of the Lord first.  See people will fail and come and go but the Lord is always with us.  That young lady offered me a jump and took the time out to say those simple words, “God is good”.  It just brought forth something in me to think about Jesus Christ.  There is nothing wrong with calling on people but you must seek the Lord first because sometimes people are not going to answer.

7. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  – NIV Men’s Devotional Bible, New International Version, Matthew 7: 7&8