I can’t call this a welcome back because I truly never disappeared, but lets say I went on sabbaitical . I really can’t say I haven’t been inspired, because I have. I am inspired by everything and it is truly countless to name them all. I just choose to ignore my inspirations to write. Life has been pulling me in different directions and at times been full of frustration. Now, I will say this as a disclaimer, I will not blog about anything that I have not resolve within myself. Once, and only once I have resolved that issues then I will blog about it. Of course, somethings I will reframe from speaking about unless I get permission and out of respect.
You know life have taken me into a different direction than what I planned. Oh boy, has it! You know I never saw my life at this point in time with the constant struggle, and hustle of managing life woes or pitfalls. I have been blessed to maneuver myself and family for all of the twist in turns to sustain ourselves. I once heard someone say if you ask a group of young children what they want to be when they grow up that nobody is going to say a drug addict. Sometimes the choices we pick derails us and take us on a roll coaster ride or a nightmare, but regardless it’s a journey. I constantly preach to my children (who’s 5 and 6 years old) that you got to make the right choices and think for yourself. I am sure one day that those words are going to come back and hunt me when they chose to go the opposite direction of where I want them to.
I say many things to them. One day my son and I was studying his spelling words for the test that he had for the next day. I was drilling those spelling words to him over and over and over again. Constantly having him to recite them and spelling them, because through repetition that he will learn to spell them. We had study days before to, but this was a short week. We had to travel to New York, because of a family death and he had a program that week that wouldn’t allow him to study as much as we would have wanted to. Anyway, he got tired and asked me why do we keep going over these words. I explained to him and I can’t remember what I say, but it was something harsh. At times I govern my house through a utilitarian style of leadership. Believe it or not sometimes I think all of the leadership styles are useful depending on the situation. Finally, through my harsh and insensitive speaking I had a epiphany. I sat him down and looked him in the eyes and said, “You just do the best you can. We have studied and I know you’re trying.” I am just a firm believer that’s all you can do at times. Now, I do understand that sometimes that your best is not good enough. You can rest assured that you gave it your all and have that personal satisfaction and gratification. Yeah, the outcome may not be something tangible, but you can learn more from a failure than success.
I don’t have any purpose for this blog besides to ramble and put one out.
